Some Valuable Life Lessons
The Secret of Enlightenment is not in Perfection but in Completeness
I don’t know what your relationship with the Mythical Mare that lives within our sub-conscious sending night-mares to kids is, but mine used to come every night to torture me until I learned how to fly. I will not yet share with you the why-s and how-s, I will leave this chapter of the Life-Book empty, but just as a glimpse, I had much difficulties contemplating the sentence: ‘It is never too late to re-live your childhood happily’ and I had to meditate deeply and profoundly to comprehend its secret and sacred meaning. The inner alchemy Fairies do not always protect the kids and my parents were too occupied with their Shadow Work to notice how deeply disturbing this could be for a child.
Alchemy of Love as a Childhood Dream
We never knew Luxury but we travelled twice a year for shopping and culture trips visiting Vienna, Rome, Istanbul, Athens throughout my childhood. My father lost both his parents when he was 18 and was left with four other siblings with no money or relatives to help, yet this didn't stop him from doing his Phd in Law, taking care of all the brothers and sisters, and publishing an amazing number of 27 legal books. We discussed Plato at home, read Utopia, analyzed Roman Law and its pitfalls, talked about Tolstoy and his sense for social justice, equality and searched for a perfect social system that would come to Earth when the Humanity is ready for it. Discussing our inner drive towards unconditional justice was my breast-feeding milk during the early youth.
Just around the time of my High-school successes I came across meditation and the search for the Inner Perfection. The Alchemy of Soul and the Alchemy of Humanity beautifully presented themselves to the student that was ready to learn from: Hesse, Anthroposophy Group, Meditation Groups (such as Sai Baba, Hare Krishnas, Komaja, Ananda Marga), Zen Groups, Sufi Groups, Tai-Chi Groups, at Spiritual Healing Courses and Seminars, Macrobiotic, Vegetarian and Vegan Cooking Experiments, Mantra Singing Workshops, that were mushrooming at that time in Belgrade, Serbia.
What Happens when Your Country Collapses
The collapse of Yugoslavia, the bankrupt of its Banks, came to our lives at the same time when my father started suffering from serious consequences from his now 15 years old Diabetes 1 (insulin dependent). His kidneys stopped working, he lost his sight, his body was covered with wounds from the constant lack or excess of vitamins Ca and K (a condition common to the dialysis patents), his lungs were full of water so he could not stop coughing. By that time my mum has long given up on helping him and has passed through her nervous break-down, she was later diagnosed with Alzheimer, so the only person who could take care of him, his hospital visits, his state of body and mind was myself. Taking the role of a nurse was an intense task since I was also studying Economics and Marketing at the time. Yet it thought me a tremendous deal about the power of Western Medicine Diagnosis and its weaknesses when it comes to healing the disease.
Watching my father disappear was heart-breaking, watching my country disappear was mind-blowing.
With the Banks collapse all our savings were gone with the wind. With the Country collapse all the property, all the salaries, all the valuables were worth next to zero. Just before my father died I remember waiting for 5 hours in front of a pharmacy in an attempt to get his regular bottle of insulin. Can you imagine anything more mind-blowing, getting his regular bottle of insulin took 5 hours!? When my father left this Earth and I unsuccessfully claimed his Life Insurance I was told that there is NO Insurance Company any longer, I’ve decided that my Happiness lives elsewhere, and I chose the magic Malta as my next home.
Where is home?
My soul is the one of a nomad and during my life-time I visited more than 150 countries, set foot on all the continents, and lived in five countries: Serbia, Holland, United Kingdom, New Zealand, Malta. During my life-time I visited Rome more than 50 times and I hope to visit this magic city another 50 times, I explored and experienced all the corners of Europe: visiting Spain, France, Switzerland, Germany 20-30 times. My friends are from all around the globe. My home is in Amsterdam, London, Belgrade, Sliema, Addis, Rome, Mostar, Sydney, Lisbon, Madrid wherever I found my heart beating the same rhythm. My home is now where the Goddess lives, here around the corner in the centre of Mediterranean sea.
Seeking Happiness in a Magic Land
Malta, Maltese and its Goddess were always kind to me. My skills became useful within various management consultancies and I slowly started building my life as many Ex-pat would: without any support of my family and friends that have stayed in the war stricken country.
The first five years was overwhelming with the beauty and magic of the new lands, I felt amazingly lucky to be able to continue my spiritual & professional research within the various business settings, self-development workshops, personal growth seminars, numerous management training courses, meditation sessions, and spiritual groups meetings and I was also grateful to God that I got an experience of finding my soul-mate, the love of my life and the chance to explore the magic of relationships with him.
What Happens When You Lose Your True Love
This is such a difficult question for us believers in Her Majesty Love that when asked such a question, the first re-action is to say: If you lost it, it was not the True Love. Well, my dear followers of Her Majesty Love: this one was the True Soul-Mate Love and it is possible to lose it!
When asked during one of the Setting Goals Workshop what I think is the strongest limiting belief of the humankind, I said: ‘We need suffering to grow!’ It is a very powerful limiting belief that stops us from trying to reach our highest potential, keeps us paralyzed and stops us from trying to understand our relationship with the Soul. Yet, my Soul needed suffering to move me into another level of Being.
After 5 years of the most harmonious relationship, reading each other's mind, following the magnetic push and pull of Gaia, exploring the magic Land of Dreams, our beat shared the same rhythm, we worshiped the same Gods, my soul-mate left me for my best friend. Now try to comprehend this one I will say it one more time! My soul-mate left me for my best friend! As though the scenario of the 'second half of an apple' leaving is not hard enough, he had to fall in love with my best friend.
Returning from our adventures to New Zealand, after 6 months of exploring this wonderful land, I stayed 2 months in a Tibetan Buddhist Monastery in Nepal learning about their meditation techniques, spiritual practices, and life enriching habits. Since we have rented our apartment, I convinced him to stay with our best friend, until my return to our Lovers Nest that will soon be full of kids screaming and growing-up with us. Two months was enough for the sex drive to go mad in its wish to explore unknown territories, two months was enough for my second-half to enter the ditch of lies, many consecutive women, leaving the country, friends, family, all. It took us both 6 months to stop crying when we meet and we met every single day during those 6 months. It took me many Moons to forgive the circumstances, life, the force beyond Consciousness, the Souls involved. Yet I clearly remember standing at Dingli cliffs experiencing the Blue, knowing that if I did not believe in God and Her Plans with such a tremendous Force I would have killed myself that same day.
As circumstances had it, I entered into my 30s without a visa, without a job, without my soul-mate, without a place to live, without any savings, experiencing the Loss of True Love (and who has experienced it, know how difficult this IS) I started my journey again.
Not giving up, not abandoning the idea of Love, Consciousness, Bliss, I walked the Earth praying to God to show me the way. I got my Yoga Teaching certificate, continued my meditations, experienced some of the peaks of Silence, peaks of Bliss, peaks of Light within, read 1,000s of spiritual books, started giving yoga classes, and public lectures, organised a number of Body, Mind and Spirit Festivals, continued with the management training as a Trainer and got a Dreamed Job from a UK company heading their International Business Development.
What Happens when Your Soul Quest is against Your Life Path
The 10 years of travelling, lecturing, experiencing the world of Management Consultancy as a Woman was full of Challenge, Knowledge and Adventure.
Marketing is an Art Form and I enjoyed my chance to learn from the best. Living in the UK, participating in the company growth, gave me a chance to travel and explore the amazing mental work of Marketing and Management Consultancy.
Emotionally, I recovered and found new love falling in love with one of the Directors and had a chance to go deeper into the knowledge of relationships. The beauty of the mental, physical and emotional exchange within two of us took us onto the path of engagement, talks about children, plans about our future life.
An unfortunate end to this little love-tale that lasted 3 years was that my man did not want to have children, he already had this experience with his 1st wife and had no wish to pass through another similar Life Circle.
My call for children went beyond the chemical reaction towards the young ones, it was my Soul’s Quest and I had to respect it. I had a clear Life Path choice in front of me. I will marry the man I love, have a Dreamed Job, Dreamed House, and live within the Life of Luxury (he later sold his company for eur33 millions) or follow my Soul’s Quest that clearly said: I want to experience the Motherhood.
Alchemy of Soul materialising within the Alchemy of Love
During that period of my life journey I was helping Father George, a most amazing priest, build a school in the outskirts of Ethiopia. I still remembe the sparks in his eyes when I told him about my adoption inspiration and he told me about an orphanage in Addis called Kidane Mehret he dearly loved and supported. Following the Soul’s Quest I entered the world of Motherhood adopting two amazing kids from Kidane Mehret.
It took me 9 months of paper-work from the conception of the idea to adopt to the moment I was a mum. This was the most spiritual 9 months pregnancy one could imagine. Led by Forces of Spirit, flowing effortlessly, into Tao, into Being, into Life with Love.
As it somehow IS within this World of Yin and Yang Flow, at that point of my Life, when I entered 40s, surrounded by the most precious treasure, my kids, I was made redundant, stayed without any financial support, without my dreamed job, and the support of my partner, my now ex-fiancé.
The 2008 was the year of collapse of some European Banks that led to collapse of many debtors that lived their lives taking loans. My life-style was also guilty of 3 loans, my Bank Account statements were changing rapidly and in no time I was just a Serbian Yogi living in a foreign land, without any Government support who adopted two kids from Ethiopia. In 2008, when Andrej Million, my 5 months old baby had a pneumonia and Ema Sintayu who just had her 4th birthday was down with Chicken-Pox and my house was robbed for the second time since we came back from Ethiopia, I collapsed with the Bronchitis that lasted 4 months. That was the first and last time that we were sick together as a family sharing the Karma of the world of sickness, poverty and disease.
Read Also: My Adoption Journey
Moving away towards the Land of Love, Consciousness, Beauty, Creativity, Divine Inspiration, we came a long way, we have our home, with no TVs nor Mobiles, no Wi-Fi, with our cat and kittens, our faithful friends and family, we now discuss the Meaning of Life around the table playing a game of Chess.
You would be surprised how interesting is to discuss Philosophy with kids and how deep a game of Chess could be. We together developed exercises for: Conscious Parenting, Mindful Being, Mindful Eating, and Chanting Mantras with Best Chords. We together cry and lough and scream, we learn from each other and our friends and family. We together wrote A-Ma my Spiritual Novel who chose to be Black even before I’ve decided to adopt my kids from an African country. But that is how it is within the World of Mindful Living, Conscious Parenting, within the world of Alchemy of Soul, within the Alchemy of Love, we often have no clue what is coming next, yet our Soul follows the flow into Love, Consciousness and Bliss.
By the way, my favorite film is ‘Run Lola Run’, go see it, enjoy its flow and tell me what you think! :)