Positive Parenting: Mindful Parenting in Action
Mindful Parenting starts with a simple mindfulness truth that we are not alone within our parenting battle-field, within the arena of discomfort, sacrifice, and confusion that children might create and to help you see that your stage is universal, deeply puzzling and yet surrounded with marvel, beauty, and plenty of unforgettable experiences.
I love this Socrates quote about the youth of his time written some 2,000 years ago: “Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”
Mindful Parenting and Troubles of Parenting
The ancient truth is that no one touches our buttons quite like our-own children and no one can inspire within us so much owe, happiness, and wonder. The moments of amazement are many we just need to learn how to cherish them and protect them in this maze of parenting directions, a teacher's directives, our kids subconscious behaviors?
We are never ever properly prepared for the troubles of parenting. Finalising one, entering into the next stage of kids development: from sleepless nights, nappies changes, endless toddlers screaming, siblings fights, teenagers forgetfulness, youth experimentation, I would make a famous 'parenting expectations' statement: 'This stage is a bit easier, I am so glad we finished the previous one', to soon find out the next never-ending hormonal fight with my 13 years old daughter, or a hysteric attack of my 10 years old son drives me mad in most bizzare and strenuous ways.
My most wonderful kids are adopted from Ethiopia now 9 years ago, and I went through this amazing parenting journey as a single mum living 1,000s miles from my family, i.e. ALONE. Within my parenting explorations I turned towards 20 years of meditation experience that led me towards Simplicity Parenting, Yoga Parenting, Mindful Parenting when dealing with my loved ones. Often when in the middle of my day-to-day struggle I would stop to remind myself that: “Child's Soul stands at the center of the children growth and development, as an Essence, an Observer, Consciousness coming forth to experience the magic of Life. Be tentative to the Soul’s whispers.“ (Conscious Parenting, Nataša Pantović Nuit)
Mindful Parenting is not about a particular parenting style, or 100s of mistakes we all do when with our kids, but about the parenting journey itself, about the flow that inspires our higher self, about this famous question: how to grow as a sensitive spiritual being returning to the energy of love no matter how much of a challenge parenting might be.
Mindful Parenting Pillars of Positivity
RHYTHM IS ONE OF THREE PILLARS OF CONSCIOUS / MINDFUL PARENTING
If we do not respect our Earth, the world of emotions and mental development will suffer. We all need rhythm in our food consumption, in our sleep patterns, in our cleanliness and our exercise regime. This routine does not come naturally and it is learned and exercised from very young age. If we wish to have a beautiful, peaceful and safe home, we need healthy expanding roots that go deep into the ground. These roots are our routine, our stability, our structure. The life with the rhythm will give us space and time for all the other activities. The life with the stability, structure and routine will give us time for ourselves, our children, cousins, friends, work, study, theater, for all…
Yet many believe that this Rhythm and Routine divide us from the 'fun world' of the spontaneous expression, from the creative flow and explosions of the Life Force.
Rhythm has a flow and like a river it carries us throughout the day. Rhythm is everywhere, in nature, in seasons, it is constant and it changes at all times. The rhythm is within our body, within our breathing, heart beat, and life cycles. The newborn has its-own rhythm of sleeping, eating, being. We are at all times surrounded with the rhythm and we at all times follow the rhythms.
It is often that children have problems expressing themselves within the families that find it difficult to connect with the rhythm, structure as a quality. Their parents find the rhythm boring and the structure suffocating and are incapable of planning their activities in advance. This reflects on the children. One of the reasons for AD/HD problem in early childhood is the luck of rhythm and structure.
PRIORITIES IS ONE OF THREE PILLARS OF CONSCIOUS PARENTING
Defining Priorities and exercising Self-discipline helps us grow as conscious / mindful parents. Within this process we:
o Learn how to Discriminate: defining true goals, true dreams and life enriching priorities
o Practice Self-Discipline to Execute
It is not easy to prioritize in today’s world full of various destructions, and it is not easy to find ‘time’ for family activities when so much is wasted in useless chatter (mobiles, TV and computers) yet when we manage to truly devote our time and energy to our children, they start thriving. According to the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics), ‘Extensive research evidence indicates that media violence can contribute to aggressive behaviour, desensitization to violence, nightmares, and fear of being harmed.’ An average American child will see 200,000 violent acts and 16,000 murders on TV by age 18...
LOVE IS ONE OF THREE PILLARS OF CONSCIOUS PARENTING
Working with Conscious or Mindful Parenting, we constantly explore how to:
o Train Love
o Practice Creativity
o Be Mindful
Showing our little ones how to express love, we teach them emotional intelligence, we teach them to express, to recognize what is happening within them, and to live within their reach and expanding world of emotions. A Conscious Parent who includes creativity in the form of music, sport and arts as an integral part of the teaching methods takes on the role of a conductor, an artist, guiding kids’ exploration towards a deeper understanding of any subject.
It is important to get out of the role of the ‘parent’ that constantly directs, controls, orders, and to come back to love that is the main natural flow between you and your child.